Challenge: Megan and Brock vs. Monkeys

This past couple of weeks has been just a little too full of nature for my liking.

I appreciate nature, I really do, as long as it doesn’t try to invade my personal space.

But over the weekend, nature–in the form of a monkey–got way, way too close.

Brock, my good buddy who makes delicious food and writes about it on BrockEats, and I decided because we had a three-day weekend we should get the heck out of Dodge and go somewhere you can actually see more than a star (or is that a satellite up there in the BKK sky?).

We settled on Phetchaburi, which is a town a few hours south of Bangkok. We showed up at the train station and bought 3rd class tickets for about $1, and then we sat ourselves down for three hours of no air conditioning.

Phetchaburi is a pretty, quiet town full of wats. And monkeys.

Why has the soundtrack to my life been from a horror movie recently? Not fair! I want a romantic comedy soundtrack!

As Brock and I were walking to our hotel with our backpacks, we passed a hill called Khao Wang (heh), which has King Rama IV’s summerhouse and some cool wats on top. We started seeing monkeys and we were kind of enchanted. Monkeys! Running around in the wild! Brock and I both come from middle America, where the most exotic thing you might see is a dog with three legs, so we thought the monkeys were really cool.

And then.

I saw a monkey get up and look at me, only I was like, There is no way that monkey is looking at me.

But it was.

And then it started to run after me and I was like, There is no way that monkey is running after–AHMIGOD THAT MONKEY IS RUNNING AFTER ME AND IT HAS SHARP TEETH AND CRAZY EYES.

I yelped, as if he was going to be able to fend off the monkey, “Brock! BROCK!”

Here’s a tip: Don’t yell for Brock if there’s a monkey running after you.

I started running away because that was the only thing I could think to do, and I felt the monkey grab something from my backpack and then go away.

Here’s another tip: Don’t leave crackers in a plastic bag tied onto your backpack, because that’s what the monkey was after. The crackers weren’t even open!

That little bastard in the middle is eating my crackers. You owe me 20 baht, monkey! You'll be talking to my lawyers!

In the end, I wasn’t hurt and the monkey didn’t bite me or even touch me at all. It was just a greedy little bastard and wanted my crackers (NOT a euphemism), but it has left me permanently scarred, psychologically (NO, I AM NOT BEING MELODRAMATIC), and more than a little wary of wild monkeys. Those things are freaky-looking, people!

Also, all the Thai people standing around were laughing their asses off at me, which I can’t blame them for. I’m pretty sure that there are going to be lots of videos and pictures entitled, “Stupid Farang Being Chased By a Monkey.” Please let me know if you see them.

Also again, Phetchaburi is nice. I would go back, but next time I’m buying a slingshot to keep away the critters, like the food vendors around town do. They know what’s what, those food vendors.

Some terrible pictures from Phetchaburi, because I need a new camera…

Train to Phetchaburi.

Freaky eyes!

I had a boss once who kind of reminded me of this statue.

This was on a wat, but I don't know WAT it is. Get it? Get it?!

Phetchaburi was like the Rome of wats--lots and lots of them.

I don't know what her name is...

Hooray for the beach times!

On the top of Khao Wang (again: heh). It was a disgustingly hot day.

The train home to BKK. LONGEST TRAIN EVER. I didn't even know if was possible to sweat that much. Seriously, at one point the train stopped on the tracks for awhile and Brock had crazy eyes, so I was like, um....just gonna walk away now.

Final Score

Monkeys: 1   Megan and Brock: 0

Give me a dog with three legs any day. Those monkeys are just…ugh…

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10 Comments

Filed under Special Challenge, Thailand, Trips

10 responses to “Challenge: Megan and Brock vs. Monkeys

  1. Jess

    Maybe next time you can carry the hazelnut blueberry chips in your bag. Take THAT, crazy-eyed mon-keh!!

  2. Great stuff Megan, we lived in Lopburi for two years and that is another big monkey town. There was a huge troupe of them near the school where I worked and one of the teachers lost a bag of shopping to them. I was always a bit weary passing them on the motorbike.

    I didn’t realise that there was a beach near Petchaburi City – any good? I am always looking for places for our family day out and I’ve only ever passed through there.

    • Hey Paul–There are a bunch of beaches near Petchaburi, actually. The one we ended up at was kind of quiet and deserted, but decent enough. The sand was soft and the water was warm and clean(ish). I don’t think I would stay there overnight, though; it was out in the middle of nowhere. It would be nice for a family day, though! There is another, bigger beach close to Petchaburi, as well, but I can’t remember the name–I think it was about 38km away from the city center.

  3. Great photos Megan, even if they were taken with your not new camera. We nearly had a monkey experience today, but with a peacock. No food involved, I think he was just havin’ a bad day.

  4. Hi Megan…which site? Cooee (strayandsnap) or Chiang Mai Thai (learnchiangmai)?

  5. Megan, I did get a comment from you a few days ago, successfully…have checked my Spam folder, but nothing there. I’m not sure what the problem could be? The hotel internet service here sometimes has a gripe with everything that is Blogger…very frustrating. If you get time, shoot me an email about the comment failure process and I’ll look into it.

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