When I was growing up, my family nicknamed my father Wally Dad after Clark Griswald in National Lampoon’s Vacation.
Clark drove his family all the way across the country so they could go to Wally World and the fact that it wasn’t open wasn’t going to stop him. No, sirree, he had this trip planned and by god, his family was going to have some fun, even if it meant holding the security guard hostage.
I'm not saying my father actually did this, but I'm also not saying it's out of the realm of possibility. The man used to take vacation seriously, for real.
My poor dad. There’s a special place in heaven for him, that’s all I’m saying. He really wanted us to do stuff on vacation, just like ol’ Clark Griswald. He would get up early in the morning on vacation, ready to go out and do something–he was on vacation!–and the rest of us would moan about and refuse to get up, then spend the day sulkily going from museum to museum and finishing up the day with a round of putt-putt golf.
When my parents were first married, they went for a road trip somewhere out west, to one of those places with majestic, awe-inspiring scenery that make you contemplate your life and your place in the universe. My dad, ready to share a touching moment with his new wife, would excitedly say, “Jan, look!” My mom would look up from her book, say, “Uh huh,” and go straight back to the page. She’s not so much one for the sightseeing.
It’s a miracle my sister and I exist at all.
Seeing as how I’m a good blend of both of my parents, for better or worse, I like vacations where I do a lot and vacations where I do nothing. Luckily, I got that on my trip to Malaysia. Days 1 and 2 were spent doing things! Going places! Seeing stuff! Recording every move for posterity!
The rest of the trip was spent like this on an island called Langkawi:
What's that you say? I bring a ridiculous amount of stuff with me to the beach? Yes, yes, I do. Go ahead and judge me if it makes you feel better about being at work while I was frolicking in the warm water.
Langkawi was quiet. There wasn’t much to do except eat Indian food because that was the only thing open due to Eid, lay around wondering if I should have had those chips (and the chips the day before…and the day before that…and…well, you see where this is going) when I was going to be in a bikini all day, and read.
Oh hi. I want to live in a beach-based society. And not work. FOREVER.
Luckily, I wasn’t made to do any sightseeing, which would have seriously hampered my ability to do nothing.
Hooray for no sightseeing!
I’m actually finding this kind of difficult to write due to the absence of anything resembling activities happening. But I want you to think for a minute–is there anything more beautiful than a sunset at the beach? I think not.
Brock and Josh made fun of me the entire time because I wore SPF 55 on my face, plus sunglasses, plus a visor, then I put SPF 45 on the rest of me. WHAT? I don't want wrinkles, people!
Artsy-fartsy shot of Joshua. Also, I would like to point out that I did not retouch these photos at all. My stupid camera finally came through for me.
I also want you to think very hard about this picture I’m going to put up right here.
**WARNING** The following picture may cause temporary blindness.
I KNOW. I. KNOW. I hope your eyeballs haven't been burned by this image. More to come on these later, but briefly: yes, they are as bad as you think.
On our last day, we went for a walk on the beach, then Brock headed for Kuala Lumpur, and Josh and I hopped a fast plane home.
Haha! That last part was a joke. We actually took a taxi to the ferry on Langkawi; a ferry to a city in southern Thailand; a truck to the mini bus, except the mini bus was full, so we got the public bus, which looked nice, but actually ended up packed so full of people that they were literally sitting on top of one another, plus the air conditioner was having a sick day and I thought I was going to pass out, no kidding, and the bus trip took 2.5 hours instead of under one hour on the mini bus, and we ended up at a bus station waaaay outside the city; truck to airport; plane; taxi home; walk up the drive…
Sometimes when you're the only white lady around, you become a tourist attraction. So it was with these Thai grandmas--they looooved me. At the airport in Hat Yai, a little girl also wanted to have her picture taken with me. I'm like a celebrity in southern Thailand.
And then I was home after an 11-hour trip, and everything was great!
Hahahaha! I’m throwing some zingers out there today!
No, what actually happened is that Murphy’s Law kicked in and the key card to my building wouldn’t work. The security guards were of absolutely no use for letting me in, so I had to trudge unhappily over to get my extra key card from Josh, then trudge back home, and then everything was great!
Well, besides that my vacation-away-from-my-vacation was over, that is.
Final Score:
Going to Malaysia: 0 Megan: 1
Booyah, Malaysia! Your food is delicious, your cultural makeup is fascinating, and your beaches are beautiful. You put up a good fight, but in the end I won this smackdown. Better luck next time.
Bangkok Reality Smackdown 